How To Combust Your Life

by Matthew Squires and the Learning Disorders

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about

This album is the product of a life falling apart and being put back together. If someone can feel helped a bit by listening to it, even a tenth of the degree to which it helped me to create it, I will feel very satisfied.



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PRESS:

The song, 'The Heretical Physics' is featured in UNDER THE RADAR's "In the studio 2013/bands to look out for" digital sampler.

*****

"...Squires alludes to How to Combust Your Life being borne out of some great life tragedy, and the lyrics definitely speak to this idea. There’s a lot of mortality, insecurity and uncertainty permeating the lyrics across this record. The impressive thing, though, is that it’s not a dour album by any means. Partially this is because the arrangements manage to stay fairly upbeat, and partially it’s because all of the sadness is leveled out with some joy and confidence. “The Arcade,” for example, is a bouncy track that embraces the idea of growing into adulthood. “Your Mind is Fine” suggests what Quiet Company did a little over a year ago – that we are all where we belong. “(Not Quite) Cannon in D” uses the famous classical melody from Pachelbel to explain how music can make everything better, and “Deer Song”‘s “sha la la”s illustrate that quite plainly while noting that it’s okay not to have any idea what you’re doing with your life."
-Ovrld (Full review here: ovrld.com/album-reviews/matthew-squires-and-the-learning-disorders/ )

*****

"...It is a sweet blend of acoustic folk and pop shot through with a wee hint of psych."
-Mad Mackerel (Full review here: madmackerel.org/2013/01/27/mm-shorts-304-matthew-squires-the-learning-disorders/ )

*****

"Matthew Squires is a an Austin resident who just recently released his latest album How to Combust Your Life independently. To drum up some publicity for his new album, we’ve got a new folk poppy song from Matt called “The Arcade” streaming and downloadable below. You’ll catch some folkiness to the song with just enough pop mixed in to keep you listening for awhile. I also am really digging the quirky and unique vocals that continue to grow on you with each and every listen."
-Austin Town Hall (Full review here: austintownhall.com/2013/03/05/new-folk-pop-from-matthew-squires/ )

*****

"...Full of light pop melodies, the underlying feelings found in “The Arcade” come across a bit more serious than it initially sounds – a nostalgic look at the singer/songwriter’s life from his future perspectives of being a father and grandfather, “The Arcade” knows how to pull on your heart strings."
-OurVinyl (Full review here: ourvinyl.com/back-of-the-rack-april-2013/)

*****

"...The album is full of upbeat, oddball pop songs with an incredible amount of heart as Squires sings with unabashed courage."
-Pop Press International (www.poppressinternational.com/2013/04/12/matthew-squires-and-the-learning-disabilities-release-video-for-arcade/)

credits

released January 8, 2013

Lots of people helped this thing become what it is. A very sincere and heart-felt thank you to Ray Flynt, Gianni Sarmiento, Joey Reyes, Marcus Rubio, Hanna Campbell, James Lavery, Emily Allen, Todd Harris, Savanah Shanks and Ben Clancy. All of your contributions, great or small were totally essential for making the album sound exactly the way it does.

Cory Dennis did an amazing job engineering these songs and went above and beyond what was necessary of him to help me bring this album to fruition.

Mastered by Jerry Tubb at Terra Nova Digital Audio, Inc.
Austin, Texas

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about

Matthew Squires Austin, Texas

I think, all things considered, the songs I write are much more listenable than the songs I don't write. Like me on Facebook if you like to like artists you like on Facebook. The link is right below these words you're reading right now.

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Track Name: (Not Quite) Cannon in D
Is this birth or is it death? It's somewhere in-between. I love the way our bodies know just what they need. So, take this air in slowly, let it linger in your lungs as we rest upon the planet as it dances with the sun. Just take my hand, I'll guide you through these corridors of doubt. My arms are reaching inwards as your mind is branching out. Let's dream of a child's laughter when we feel we can't go on, there's no burden that's so heavy, it can't be lifted with a song.
Track Name: Deer Song
We've been afraid of our minds for years, I think it's time that we let it all go. We've been drawing inside the lines for years, I think it's time that we let them all go.

Do you think you'll look the way you do when you die?
Or do you think you'll even think the way you do when you die?

Well I don't know myself but I will in time. 'Cause I don't know myself but I will in time.

We spent our days just hiding away, I think it's time that we let it all show. And we damned the river that brought us here, I think it's time that we let it all flow.

Now, do you think we'll fight the way we did when we die? Or do you think we'll even think the way we did when we die?

I don't know myself but I will in time. Yeah, I don't know myself but I will in time.

I have been searching for years for something to bring me to tears. For something so fine in its form and design that it leaves me standing firm like a deer.
Track Name: Dry River
You were a camera that never went blind.
You studied yourself.
Yes, You studied yourself.

I was a photogenic silent type.
I relied on myself.
I mean, I lied to myself.

We formed a river that had to run dry.
We bathed in each other,
then we drained each other.

They formed a jury, examined the facts.
They honored themselves.
Yeah, they honored themselves.

I was a lawyer with a venomous tongue.
I lied to myself- Shit.. I mean...
I relied on myself!

And you were the witness
I called to the stand.
You only recalled what you couldn't understand.

And there was a time when my mind was not
as crowded with doubts

No- it was consumed with you and your mouth and your smile and that way you would gossip.

You were a beautiful myth.

But now it's real and I can feel the effects on Non-action.

You were a beautiful Myth

You were a beautiful Myth but I let go of all Myths.

Just said, "Goodbye to all myths!"

You were a Beautiful myth.
Track Name: Choosers are Beggars
I don't know but I've been told: Everyone that I've ever met will eventually grow old.

And I'm not sure but I think I heard: I, myself, am not an exception. And there are no exceptions. You know, it begs the question,

"Can you stand yourself?" And can you stand the people in your life? 'Cause, you know, that's all you've got.
Track Name: Ode to Every Cell in Your Body
Growing up you knew you had work to do. The kind that all could see.

Did something hold you down, force on that sleeping gown, besides your fear of being wrong?

I don't think so.

As long as we must dream, we may as well dream that we're awake, I guess. And the fear you feel inside of you is just the tightening up f your chest. And I hope you know that I hope you grow in a million different ways, my love. May the cells that form your body reach up and touch the sky above.

Did something hold you down, force on that wedding gown, besides your fear of being wrong?
Track Name: This Is What My Heart Sounds Like
Hello old friend. I never thought we'd meet again. I must admit, I'm jealous now, you haven't aged a bit. While these wild times have forged these gently sloped fault lines across my once smooth face. Yes, it's true this hair has grayed. But I swear, my dear, that heart you saved is still beating.
Track Name: An Appeal to a Friend
Is this what you want?

When you raise up your glass, do you give praise to the past, or do you just pour it right down your throat?

And look at the way you move.

Oh what an elegant thing with this childish dream: You're trying to become something else.

But if you looked at the thing you are, you'd see a wonderful sight that has filled up my eyes and sent me out to go and make peace with the world.
Track Name: The Arcade
I want to be a father some day. I want to see my child get wisped away in the heat of a love he can't contain. And I hope he enjoys the fruits this earth has laid.

I want to be a grandfather some day. I want to look back at this life I made and laugh at the way my plans had changed. I hope that whenever I die I don't forget to pray.

I'll say:
"Thank you Universe for the good you gave. I never really thought I would see this day. Now I return to from where I came. I am tired like a kid headed home from the arcade."
Track Name: Everything Must Go
I was born to get ready to die. Have you heard the horn? I think that it is time to be warned that everything that comes must go.

Haven't you heard? There's two kinds of men in this world. Those that love and those that are too god-damned afraid. So if you give your heart, you don't need no middle man. Just give it all and give it whole-sale.

Everything must go.
Track Name: Meaningless Hatred
I don't know who I am but I have put that to rest. I hear they call that 'growing up'. I don't know where you are but I am heading out west. I hope to god that you're showing up like a sun with its warm and all-embracing arms, and I don't care if I'm giving up by ridding my heart of this meaningless hatred. It's like drinking a cup filled with poison and hoping that somebody else will die.

Haven't you seen a child when he falls down? He gets himself up, dusts himself off and he's gone.

"Ooooh"--that's the sound of a child who has lost his way.

I don't know who I am but I have put that to rest. I hear they call that 'growing up'. I don't know where you are but I am heading out west. I hope to god that you're showing up.
Track Name: Your Mind Is Fine
Where were you right before you were born?
Where were you in this elegant storm?
Were you trying to find your way home?
Were you tying, I hope you're finding you were never alone.

Haven't you heard the glorious news?
Haven't you heard you've got nothing to lose.
Just stop trying to find you way home.
Stop trying, you may be finding you were never alone.

No matter where you turn, well there you are.

I know your mind is fine. That's just not the point.
I know your mind is fine, but how's your heart?

Where were you when your father returned?
Where were you when that bridge was un-burned?
Were you trying to find your way home?
Were you trying,I hope you're finding you were never alone.

Hope you do what your momma had said
on the night that she laid you to bed.
"When you are dying, do not be afraid."
"When you are dying, just remember my name."
"And when I'm dying, I will do the same"

No matter where we turn, well there we are

I know your mind is fine, that's just not the point.
I know your mind is fine, but how's your heart?
Track Name: Tiny Soldiers
You and I could never stick to our plans.
I've never seen a thing that could
anyway.

I turned to putty right inside of your hands.
You made me feel I was starting over,
what a shame

That the children could not laugh like us
We made them look like tiny soldiers
with all the plans we made.

Who am I to try and force commands?
I've never seen a thing that could,
anyway.

I'd rather reach straight down and touch this land
there's nothing wrong with getting gounded,
I have found

That there's a child in each one of us,
we're dressing up like tiny soldiers
with all the plans we fake.

I'm tired of pretending like my mind is full
when it's not.
I'm tired of pretending like
I was born with my arms crossed

I'm tired of pretending like my back is bent
when I'm up straight
I'm tired of pretending like
I was born with my arm's crossed

I'm tired of pretending like my heart can't thaw,
when it ain't cold
I'm tired of pretending like
I was born with my arm's crossed.
Track Name: Rivers of Salt
I gave myself a talking to
I made myself just follow through.
I tried.

I gave myself to you,
And you?
You gave yourself to me.

How beautifully controlled
How beautifully

Control yourself and read straight through,
you'll never find an answer through
your doubt.

I cleaned my mind for you.
And you?
You cleaned your mind for me.

How beautifully we danced
How beautifully

You danced the whole god damn night through
I watched this while I worshiped you,
I cried.

I shed a tear for you.
And you?
You shed a tear for me.

How beautifully we wept.
How beautifully

We wept, we wept, 'til we made ourselves rivers of salt
I'm trying my best to not say it's my fault.
I will give you the things that I promised
when I was still sober, when you were still honest.

And I am not dying to live, I'm living to die.
I gave aging backwards a terrible try,
now I'm rolling real fast right over the hill.
If the past is behind me, then why do I feel
the things that I felt when I was just 22?
So many memories that belong to you,
like tattoos they will linger and will not remove.
I am tired of watching a life I once knew.

I'm tired....
Track Name: The Heretical Physics
Sometimes I wonder if the stars were born
with the singular intention of lighting up your face.
...ah, well. It makes a lot more sense when I'm
staring into your eyes
and I know in my gut that its true.
Or its at least a theory worth holding on to.

Sometimes I remember this friend that died.
He had a knack for telling jokes
that would make you feel alive
in the midst of a world that seemed to want you dead.
Well God himself must have gasped
at some of ways this kid could get you to laugh.

Think I hear him now and he's singing:

"Do you like yourself?"
"Well, I''m trying my best."

"Do you like yourself?"
"Well enough I guess."

"Do you like yourself?"
"Oh, Oh... OH! Yes."

Sometimes I feel the corners of my mouth
turning upwards on their own like they're reaching for the moon.
And then I'm on my knees with all this water in my eyes
And I thank my lucky stars that I'm here.
And I thank my lucky stars that you're near.

Sometimes I wonder if those stars were born
with that singular intention of lighting up your face.
...ah, well. that makes a lot more sense when I'm
staring into your eyes
and I know in my gut that its true.
Or at least it's a theory worth holding on to.

"Do you like yourself?"
"Well, I''m trying my best."

"Do you like yourself?"
"Well enough I guess."

"Do you like yourself?
"Oh, Oh... OH! Yes!"